Relationship Tip 3 # The One Thing Worth Following

A Picture of The Milky Way in The Norther Hemisphere.

A Picture of The Milky Way in The Northern Hemisphere.

My daughter wanted a telescope for Christmas. It was caught in the slow mail and she patiently checked for boxes every day. When it finally arrived, the whole family bundled up and trooped outside. It was literally freezing, but there we all were, waiting for turns to look through this child-sized telescope.

It became evident pretty quickly that our imaginations were way beyond what was possible to see. At first I thought it must be the telescope: too small, not powerful enough. But then I remembered that in Galileo’s time, telescopes were prolific. Common people could buy them and take a close look at the moon.

Yet, here we were, with likely a much more powerful home telescope than in the 1600’s – and we couldn’t see anything.

So on the third Friday of January, my husband and I took our daughter to the public night at UVA observatory. We looked through a much stronger telescope (designed in the 1800s). The guide said they no longer use this powerful telescope because the light pollution has gotten so bad.

I grew up in NYC, where we already had serious light pollution issues. The first time I saw the milky way was in Africa. I will never forget that night. Driving into the middle of a preserve in Kenya, turning out the lights and looking up through the roofless jeep at the most breath taking view of the universe – so much bigger than all of us. It was like god put an ocean of stars in the sky. I felt so small and yet so integral. I thought,”Oh, the milky way is only on this side of the earth. It must be invisible to the northern hemisphere.”

Little did I know then that our northern night lights point upwards and fill the sky, making it impossible to see the milky way. The starry ocean is hidden behind clouds of light.

I always thought this was an unsolvable problem, but in actuality there is a simple solution: create lighting which points at the ground instead of at the sky. This high efficiency lighting is built with shielding so the light can meet all our needs, creating less need for electricity and less light pollution.

If we make some small changes around our homes and office, then when our children could look up at the sky, they would see a truly awe-inspiring sight, in all its brilliance.

What does this have to do with the Three Principles? Well it is surprisingly simple. When you wake up from the committee in your head telling you what you should do and how you should do it, suddenly there is a deep well of wisdom, which, it turns out, is always present, and available to everyone, and surprisingly simple.

For me, there is a simple solution, make the changes I can make and share the simplicity of wisdom with others.

Inner Wisdom? Now that is something worth following!

Ready to free your mind? Jeanne Catherine is providing an affordable foundation weekend right here in Charlottesville. Learn how to enjoy life, appreciate relationships and live simply – through understanding and ease – no matter what. Foundational Weekend Information.

Or Join Dr.Dicken Bettinger, March 14th and 15th for a phenomenal opportunity to quiet your mind and change every thing without changing a thing. Save Your Spot.

Relationship Tip #2: Decency?

imagesCultivate your sense of decency.

Use the word that works for you, but don’t go for extreme bliss. If you want to change your kids, impress on your boss the importance of your ideas, or simply wish you could get some help with the dishes, begin with the simple step of cultivating your sense of well-being or, as Tenzin Thosam stated on a recent radio interview, “your sense of decency.”

How do you do this? Keep it simple. If you hear yourself saying to your kids, “It’s time to clean your room” and you feel like an ogre – that’s not it. If you are saying to your loved one, “Why on earth did you leave the coats and shoes on the floor?” and you feel like poking his eyes out – that’s not it either. Or if you quietly say to the idiot who messed up your big project at work “No, no it’s just fine” – still missing it!

The simple truth is that our sense of decency will define our experience of ourselves. And we innocently dislike the pushy, snide, sarcastic ogre we can become. So we innocently dislike ourselves. But even more surprising, when we stop attempting to enforce our will and expectations, when we discover the beauty of following a feeling of well being, the most amazing thing happens – people are happy to help. People respond to a feeling of decency; the specifics of the request are pretty irrelevant.

A feeling of decency can happen in the most surprising moments, even under extreme circumstances. It doesn’t mean people can get away with terrible things. It means, keep it simple and speak from your feeling of decency – the impact will surprise you!

If you have a surprising story about your feeling of decency or feeling of well being and where it took you – I would love to hear it! Share it here.

And Join me on the radio show (international access!) on Monday, January 19th, as I am joined by Dicken Bettinger talking about Embracing Grief. If you are in Charlottesville at noon on Monday, join us live at Divine Play at 313 2nd St SE, Suite 208. Elsewhere, visit this site and click the Listen Live link at 9 am Pacific, noon Eastern, 5 pm UK.

Relationship Tip #1 (Apply to Every Topic)

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Tip #1: Recognize your crazy.

When you are saying to your child, “If you don’t clean your room up right now I am not going to buy you cookie dough for the rest of your life,” that is a bit crazy.

When you are saying to your employee, “I can’t take it any more, if you don’t do what I asked you to do right now, you are fired!” Could be crazy.

When you are saying to your lover, “I can’t believe you didn’t wash the dishes, what is wrong with you?” Crazy.

It is not the words alone. It is a feeling that all human beings get: one of insecurity, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, anger, frustration – a feeling that is so big, so consuming that it takes over. And then, crazy happens.

Learn to recognize your crazy and you will master your work, your relationships, and your life. Not because you are doing something important but because you will know when NOT to do something crazy.

Crazy does not free you from the problem. Worry, fear, concern, anxiety will not give you perspective, ideas, or new avenues. Expressing your crazy to others will not make you feel better or give you relief. What will give you hope is backing off crazy and finding the simplicity of living.

Turns out living is designed to unfold with a genuinely peaceful feeling, one which we can return to, refresh ourselves with, and rediscover – in every moment of every day. And luckily for us we don’t have to meditate, write, take a bath or light a candle to experience the moment. It is happening, every day and in every way. Sometimes we just get crazy and stop noticing.

Right now I am offering a one year long apprenticeship position for a coach who wants to understand the Three Principles and incorporate their understanding into their work.

I am offering a spot in a new Charlottesville group, Moment to Moment Living, a New Foundation for Everything. This group will meet bi-weekly to discover insight through conversation and community with a core group. Designed to guide you away from fear, anxiety, hopelessness, depression or overwhelm and rebuild your understanding of who you are. Once you discover your own health, vitality, peace of mind and wisdom – unexpected delights await! Contact me at jeanne at divine play dot com if you want to join the discussion.

Join us on Monday, January 12th at 9 am Pacific / noon Eastern / 5 pm UK for a live radio discussion and discover what Tibetan Buddhist philosophy reveals: Delight in the Secret of You.

A Gift, A Curse: The Intention Dilemma

New Year's ResolutionsEvery year, as I listen to the radio or follow along on Facebook, I hear a very similar theme. “What is it that I want to do this year? How do I really make it happen this time?”

It’s not that intention doesn’t work, it just doesn’t work the way we think it does.

In 2009 I left my previous marriage. I had no idea the rocky road of divorce, how my children would live or what would be spent on lawyer fees. I also couldn’t have imagined the life I live now. I didn’t know then the man I would come to meet and marry, or that my children would end up living with me. I could never have dreamed up the community we have at Divine Play or the deep and complete healing that would occur within me that I would share with others.

In 2011 I opened a business called Divine Play. At the time, I thought it would be a place where I could do my Nia White Belt Trainings (week-long mind-body experiences I spent 10 years training to teach) and mindfulness business coaching. Becoming a Nia trainer was a dream come true for me. I never dreamed that within a year I would leave Nia to focus full time on teaching women and their families how to find happiness and ease through freedom of mind.

Today it is 2015. I am now living a different life than I could have ever imagined. What did intention have to do with it? How did my desire for change, for happiness, for another way propel me towards my destiny? What did it have to do with my wellbeing and how much of a role did intention play? But most of all, why is my experience of intention so simple in some ways and so complex in others? What is happening in my human experience, and how can I make that experience better?

The simple answer is the only way to go. The less I involve my self and my idea of what I want, the smoother life goes. It is not that I don’t do the things I want to do, I simply do what I want to do more and what I think I want to do less. There is a way to navigate these two things. The gift is to recognize the difference and to follow the path of least resistance. The curse is, no matter how much we know the benefits of being instead of doing, we still attempt to “do” using our feeble minds and freedom of will to make our thoughts come into reality.

But here is the thing: reality doesn’t really work that way. Thoughts don’t come true with hoping, wishing or dreaming. Just like the sperm and the egg don’t always result in a baby. The theory is that we need just those two ingredients and the right environment, but the truth is beyond our understanding. When we say we need the right environment, we are talking about the missing ingredient, the human spirit.

Join me live along with Jen Lucas on internet radio on Monday, January 5 at 9:00 a.m. PST, noon EST and 5:00 p.m. UK as we discuss the gift and the curse of intention. Learn how the moment reveals itself and how to navigate the gift of our humanity with more ease and grace. Learn how to take advantage of the gift of intention. Join in the discussion!

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